Soap is not a condiment
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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