Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
