According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize
