you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Randomize
