GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
