If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
