Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
