some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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