I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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