it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
