Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
