I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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