ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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