I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
