Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
