well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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