Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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