i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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