why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i believe in u and ur pee
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
