Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
