I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
