my sisters under your porch take her home
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
