YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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