She is in my trunk
Your dad touched me again.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
