I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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