Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
