i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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