So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
