we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
