Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
