its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
