By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
