Cold hands, warm shart.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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