Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize