Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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