It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
