but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
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