He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
