Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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