Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
