Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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