After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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