Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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