I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize