I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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