i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
