help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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