oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Is it because I queefed?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Randomize
