whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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