Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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