drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
