I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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