well I can't set my house on fire every night
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
