Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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