It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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