I heard we made out
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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