I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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