You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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