Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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