But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
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You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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