I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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