He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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